I have one of those incredible marriages. I have one of those marriages where younger women sigh and hope their man treats them like mine! One of those where women think my husband just fell from heaven and landed, perfectly, in my lap. He opens my doors, reads his Bible, jokes with me about any number of things, and turns to me whenever a decision has to be made. I mean, I won the husband lottery, people!
I can’t take credit for it. We’ve grown together, because neither of us were even very nice when we first got married. Let’s just say we were diamonds in the rough? Really rough. I didn’t know how to cook when we first got married! And hubby, well, he’s learned a few tricks along the way, too! =}
I thought I would give you a few pieces of marital advice. If you’re married to the most awesome man then, feel free to disregard my drivel! If your marriage could use a little uplift, then keep reading! This is the first post in a series about marriage!
*Listen. Listen more than you talk. Take in what your husband says he needs or wants, even when his delivery method might be, well, not so fun. It is often in the rare argument that I smack myself in the forehead for missing the obvious. My husband has developed some mighty subtle ways of telling me how he feels about things, and then there’s the more obvious yuck face. Well, you get the idea!
*Talk. When it’s your turn, talk UP to your spouse, not down. If he needs reminding about things now and then, do so in a way that doesn’t injure his pride. I can guarantee that if he’s a man working in the 21st century, his pride is probably a little bruised up. Talk about the future. Talk about how wonderful he is. Make little of your own desires, and be willing to listen to his brief answers to your lengthy questions. Women use an average of 50 thousand words a day, and men use 25 thousand. It’s ok to talk your share!
*Ask good questions! When you’re communicating with your spouse, don’t ask him if this dress or that one makes you look fat. Ask him intelligent questions about his color preferences, or even if the cut of this one or that is flattering. We’re women. We like words, so let’s make them good! I love giving my husband an open ended question sometimes, like, “What’s your favorite part of this year?” That gives him the latitude to answer short or elaborate. (I don’t have to tell you to listen to his answers.)
Ok, so by now you’re wondering, what happens when something goes wrong. Wellllll, communication is still key. Temper your tendency to speak to your spouse in anything but a respectful tone. In fact, you might want to speak to him the way you want him to respond, because either way, that’s what you’re getting. If you have the time, before you even speak to your spouse about something that’s bothering you or that just “ain’t right”, pray over it. Get to the root of your own fault in the matter. If you can change something by changing your own behavior, don’t even bother your husband with it!! I surely do not mean an “I’m done” attitude. I mean, if you caused the fight, you don’t get to complain unless your husband is in the wrong. Even then, tread lightly, because you’re not perfect!
Please, please, please, listen to your husband. When he’s grumpy and tells you he hates chicken ala king, don’t serve it again unless he asks for it. If he says he loves it, make sure to serve it when the day needs something special! For heaven’s sakes, if you, his beloved, don’t care about his likes and dislikes, how in the world is he going to have the courage and gumption to go out into this big world and work for food and shelter?? If you do not listen to your spouse, then I can guarantee some other woman will, and that will cause him a huge stumbling block!
I hope you’ve enjoyed this first part of a series of posts about marriage. I’ve been wanting to share these things with y’all for a while!